The Quilt Whisperer

I've found a new fan club to join. I'm seriously into Cesar Millan as the Dog Whisperer these days. I began watching his show on the National Geographic Channel late one afternoon when I was exhausted and there was nothing else on and I'm always game for a good dog show, and I was immediately fascinated. The things this man is able to do with dogs...and the ease with which he helps his clients and by extension his viewers understand the dog psychology behind it...is just amazing. But what's most amazing is that what he's doing is actually so ordinary and so common sense once you understand what he constantly says: "A dog is a dog, not a human." There's really nothing amazing about it.

Ok, so in our house we've never treated our dogs like babies or little people. They have always been dogs. And, consequently, we've never had dogs with severe behavior problems although our Spencerpup has a couple of odd neuroses floating around the edges. And often when I'm watching the shows I can immediately pick out what the owner is doing to create the problem (the woman who had dyed her frou-frou dog's fur pink to match her entire wardrobe and home decorating scheme was an easy answer, admittedly). Watching Cesar present his trademark "Calm Assertive Pack Leader" self to the dog in question leading to almost immediate resolution to the behavior problems--apparently your average dog really does want someone to be in control. As Cesar puts it, it's a matter of creating a balanced dog.

Calm Assertive Pack Leader. Hmmm. Where do I get me some of that?

OK, so I'm pretty much a pack leader with Spencer but that's not such a big deal because she's the quintessentially submissive pack runt and basically looks to almost everyone as her pack leader, including the painters, the UPS man, the Jehovah's Witnesses.... I'd like to think I'm a pack leader with my kids. Hmph. On a good day.

I've had recent reason to be taking to heart the Dog Whisperer's lessons about energy in the room and balance. He talks with dog owners about what sort of energy they're giving off--and how the dogs pick up on that and it shows in their behavior. If you're nervous about them acting up, they'll assuredly act up. If you're panicky or excited or fearful, you have a panicky or excited or fearful dog. But if you're calm and assertive, you'll get balance in return. I know that's true with my family as well. If I'm giving off negative energy, I'll either get it back in spades or everyone will retreat to their respective hidey-holes--not in panic, so much, they are teenagers after all, but in a strong sense of self-preservation. "Mom's in a mood. Lay low." I may not really feel stressed in my own body, but I'm apparently spewing it off in my aura or energy fields or whatever other new-agey phraseology you might want to give it. And when it's bad enough that I do actually feel stressed? Watch out. Conversely, however, calmness and a sense of your own personal power brings balance.

I've not been quilting lately, and I've realized why. I need to be in more of a calm, assertive, pack leader state to quilt effectively. Otherwise my quilts fly all over the place with nervous energy. I have one project I'm working on as a gift for a friend that was reported to be "One Afternoon" in the magazine. I'm going on about 10 days now. But that's because I almost immediately messed up one thing that should've been pretty obvious had I been sufficiently paying attention, and then realized I'd never purchased one of the necessary fabrics because I hadn't been sufficiently focused in the fabric store (and don't have a solution in my stash), and then just barely managed to stop myself before I added insult to injury by trying to muddle through skipping a step or two because surely I could still manhandle this thing into submission even though my focus was still all over the place and my nervous energy was slowly but surely building higher and higher with each passing moment. One more false move and my partially-pieced project would've turned it's snarling teeth on me and drawn blood.

But oh, how I long to be the Quilt Whisperer. How I desire to take one look at a quilt-gone-bad, immediately ascertain the psychology behind why it went wrong, give it a quick mother-dog-bite-simulation with my hand and a sharp "ssshhht!" to pull it's attention on me, take a breath and reach deep inside me for the Calm Assertive Pack Leader, and have that quilt follow me in obedience until its completion.

It's not the quilt's fault. It never is. I need to recall the lessons of Cesar and draw forth the Calm Assertiveness necessary to succeed. Beyond quilting, that would hold true with most of life. I need to recall the calm assertiveness I've felt in the past, times when I've been able to achieve good things, or at very least acheive things, even when it felt like life was spinning wildly out of control.

Ssshhht. Here I am. Calm Assertive Pack Leader Sandy. That's me.